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Too many books - too much fanfiction - too little time

Special Forces: Soldiers - Marquesate,  Vashtan,  Aleksandr Voinov

Holy mother of…!!! Fuck. Just.. Fuck!

How the hell am I supposed to start this review… Just.. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!

This is, without a doubt the most insane, the most crazy, most violent, the hardest, fucking grittiest, ugliest, heart wrenching, heartbreaking book I. Have. Ever. Read.

It’s also the most beautiful, heartwarming, exceptional, mind-blowing love story I. Have. Ever. Fucking. Read!

I should probably have waited a day or so, before starting this review, because I just finished minutes ago, and my mind is all over the place.. I could be shaking.. I could be numb.. I feel like I’ve just had my two best friends ripped away from me, and I can’t stand it.. I want them back. I need to stop shaking..

Just breathe..

This story is about 2 guys. 2 soldiers in Afghanistan. Fighting on opposite sites. They are enemies. They meet on page 2 or 3 in this 559 page book.. They meet when the Russian, Vadim, with one of his comrades, beats and rapes the Scottish soldier, Dan..
This proud, strong soldier. Trained to be one of the toughest. The one you don’t just mess with.. They fucking rape him! Just like that. Beat him and rape him!

And that is how this fucking intense, a 1000 different kinds of Holy Fucking Hell, love story begins..


These two guys.. Dan and Vadim.. Fuck! Just.. Holy Fuckity fuck! They broke me down.. Completely and utterly, just broke me down raw..
They broke each other down.. With beatings, knives, guns and everything you can imagine.. And then even more than that.. They sliced, tore, ripped and fucking clawed each other..

And it was fucking horrific and fucking beautifully perfect at the same time.. It’s the ugliest I’ve ever read, and it’s the best fucking book I’ve ever read.. Ever. Fucking. Read!!!!

And I’m sorry I keep cursing, but I’m emotional, I’m stressed the fuck out, after having finished this.. The only word that keeps repeating itself in my head right now is just Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.. This is just too fucking intense..

Dan.. Just writing his name brings tears to my eyes.. Fuck. Breathe..
He was.. He is just.. I fucking love him.. He was the one that just tore my heart out throughout this book. I could feel every single feeling he felt.. Ok, now I’m crying again.. Well.. I guess that fits perfectly, because he was the one that got me bawling my eyes out all the fucking time!

When he was shaking with feelings he couldn’t express, and words that wouldn’t come over his lips – I was shaking right along with him.. When he cried from exhaustion, I cried right along with him.. And when it happened, when the words came and the feelings refused to stay hidden a minute longer, and he kissed, and when he held and when he fucking loved his Russian, his, just his, I loved right along with him.. Dan is just.. I fucking love him!

Vadim.. Oh God, I wanted to hate you, Vad.. I wanted to go mental on you, I wanted to beat you and rip you open, scream at you and knock you the fuck out.. I wanted to hold you tight, wanted to caress that beautiful shaven head of yours and tell you everything was going to be alright.. How the authors manage to get us to love this guy is mind-blowing.. He’s a rapist. He’s a killer, a murderer and a stupid SOB, but I love him! I fucking love him! How is that possible?? How’s that even possible?!

I can’t even begin to tell you how insane this book is.. How violent it is.. I can’t even begin to tell you how beautiful this story is, and I can’t even begin to tell you how much I loved it.. I can’t write a review that would ever do this book justice, all I can say is that you should read it.. You need to read it.. How this is not on every best-selling list, I don’t know. How this is not on everyones shelves, I don’t know.. It’s a fucking masterpiece, that’s what it is!

The crazy thing? This was only the first book in a 4 book series.. How the hell am I ever going to survive 3 other books?? I really have no idea, but nothing.. And I mean nothing, is going to stop me from diving right back in. Like Dan only wanted to be where Vadim was.. And Vadim only wanted to be where Dan was.. I too, only want to be where Vadim and Dan are..