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Too many books - too much fanfiction - too little time

Special Forces - Mercenaries Part II (Special Forces, #2 part 2) - Aleksandr Voinov,  Marquesate,  Vashtan

Ok, lets do this..

Book 3 in the Special Forces series..

And I’ve actually had a day to calm down, so I doubt there will be as many curse words in this, like there has been in the first 2 reviews. I wrote those, 2 minutes after finishing the books, so all my emotions and stress went into them.. I couldn’t do that this time though, because the second I finished book 3? I started reading book 4, but more on that in another review..

Book 3.. Shit! (Ok, sorry, apparently this book just makes me want to curse!)
This was definitely the hardest book for me to read.. My emotions were in complete and utter turmoil.. It started out great.. Just Dan and Vadim.. And they even made me laugh! That hasn’t happened in, like, forever!

This book was like living with an abusive boyfriend for me, I think.. And I’m sorry if that’s offensive to anyone, but that was kinda what I was feeling.. Like explaining to your friends why you won’t leave someone who makes you angry, and sad (is there a word which translates to sad x 150? If yes, then that’s the word I should use) exhausted and hurt, and you wont leave because you still “love him.” I feel like this book is my abusive boyfriend.. I started out with a smile, then I got hit, a slap, and I cried, and I cried, I cried and then cried some more the next 90% of the book, then I got a hug, and a bit of comfort, then I got slapped again!

That’s kinda the rollercoaster ride I got from this book.. They just kept slapping me, then a small hug, and then another slap..

For some reason, Dan has the ability to make me cry, without even saying a word.. And fuck me, this book should have come with at least 5 boxes of Kleenex.. I have never cried so much in my life, not even when I lost my favorite pet when I was 10..

And Dan was the reason why.. Dan and all his freaking men.. Fuck him.. Seriously.. I wanted to rip his throat out, wanted to scream at him why Vadim wasn’t enough for him.. What the eff he was doing with Jean (Grrr.. Don’t even let me get started with Jean, or I’ll never stop.. Fuck I hate that dude.. I mean.. Is it not cheating if you’re having sex with another man, Jean? Huh?? Cheating bastard!)

Anywho.. If you’ve read my review of the second book, you know how I feel about ‘sharing’! I fucking hate that shit! Its soooo far from my personal beliefs that I just cant accept it.. Except if its just a casual thing.. Then I have no probs about reading it (would still not accept it in RL, hell no, but I can accept it in a book) but there were feelings involved when it came to Dan and stupid Jean.. And that I cannot accept.. I felt so fucking bad for Vadim, knowing he didn’t want to share Dan, and that’s what made me cry like a baby.. (if crying like a baby, means a complete meltdown, then that sounds about right) Fuck I cried.. Everytime Dan was anywhere Jean, or any other “buddy” I cried.. (Bawled my eyes out) because I just kept thinking about Vadim and that killed me everytime..

Again I have to say that if I had been “into” sharing, I doubt I would have been so emotionally involved, because then it would have been OK for them to do this, you know? But as it was, I couldn’t stop thinking “what are you doing Dan? What the fuck are you doing?” And I was so exhausted and stressed out by these intense books, that when it came down to it, I just couldn’t stop crying.. I think at one point I cried through an entire chapter.. The worst Dan chapter, and I just couldn’t stop.. And that kinda explains my “abusive boyfriend” comment, no? Dan made me cry, like no other ever has, and I hated him, and I screamed at him (I really did) but fuck, I couldn’t just stop loving him either.. Bastard!

Shit I’m rambling here.. Sorry for that, but these books are freaking intense, and I feel like I could write about them forever..

Anyway.. Dan and Vadim goes through a lot in this book.. You literally want to kill them both at some point (at a lot of points) during the book. There is just no way I can do a “normal” review though.. These books are all about feelings for me, and I want my reviews to be a statement to what I felt at the time of finishing the book..

Hmm.. How to give stars.. Shit, once again, I wish I could give it -150 stars, because fuck I hated them, I hated Dan, I hated Jean, I hated everything they did, but it got me.. Made me stay up, reading till 2 -3 – 5 in the morning some nights, and even though there were some moments I wanted to put it down and never read again, we all know that that would never have happened, because these books are addictive, they keep luring you back, with a tiny hug and a few comforting words.. Right before they slap you again..