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Too many books - too much fanfiction - too little time

Breeze On The East River - Michael D. Subrizi

((Freebie on kindle))

So what did I think of this book..

Very, very hard to review, because I have a lot to say, but I’m trying to find the best words for how to describe my feelings after finishing this book..

Words.. I guess that is actually a good place to begin..

Do you know the game where you draw something on a piece of paper, then fold it, and let someone else draw the next part, fold the paper, and then someone else draws again? So you end up with a drawing that’s been drawn by a lot of different people, and therefore doesn’t match and look very funny? Yeah, I feel like this book got written that way..

First, there are a lot of typo’s and I usually don’t care about those in books, because hey, what’s the point anyway, right? But in this book, there are so many sentences that just don’t make any sense at all, because there should have been a comma or because multiple words are missing from it, to make it understandable. Like the sentence; “She’s screaming hyena.” Wait.. She’s what? Is she screaming like a hyena, or is she really screaming hyennaaaaaa ? In which case that doesn’t make sense at all in the story, but then again, a lot, and by God, I mean a lot in this book didn’t make any sense. Holy crap.. Its just.. Words thrown together.

Ok, so its about Breeze, Balls and Brains.. Yes, that the names, and not one time do you get some kind of clue to what they look like, so how hard do you think it is, to keep track of who is who? Huh? Let me tell you.. Very fucking hard. And it doesn’t help when their friends have names such as Rain and Drools..

rolling eyes

I shit you not. It took me 95% before I knew who were girls and who were boys in this book. 95%! And I only found out because the author listed all the names of the girls in the group, who lusted after a cute guy.. But I guess one of those names could be a gay guy, and then I’m still lost as fuck..

Breeze, Balls and Brains are fucked too.. on drugs, while trying to play music in a band. People die, people are suddenly ghosts.. Oh and there’s a wolf licking toes too.. O_O


Breeze suddenly loses his hearing – which he is very upset about.. Poor thing.. He can’t hear a damn thing, you guys! But strangely enough he can have conversations with the same people he cant hear.. Wait… What now? If you can’t hear, how can you….. Oh, fuck it.. Another fact in the “WTFact” pile..

I wish I could list all the weird facts or weird mistakes. Like when a girl was licking Breezes ear, and then she was opening his pants with her toes and “curling her toes around it”.. But.. while licking his ear? How is that even possible? And how long do your toes need to be before you can “curl them around” his “swollen skyscraper” I shit you not.. In a book about drugs and (what I assume are) young guys, (because we never got ages either.. of course) the author uses “swollen skyscraper” as a synonym for a cock? Really? Or the time that Breeze and his girlfriend are standing arguing in the hallway when he then puts his head in her lap…Wait.. But.. while standing? If not, then when the hell did they move?

I know I’ve been pretty hard on this book, but not once did I consider to DNF it.. There were some funny moments in the book. My fave was a scene right in the beginning where someone was talking about a BJ and Michael Jackson.. That was funny. And it made me LOL on the train..

After that the book became a train wreck waiting to happen for me. Had to see how bad it could actually get. And trust me on this.. It got bad.. and then worse.. and then I just said fuck it, and read it with a smile on my face every time there was some kind of mistake or weird fact.. So.. yeah.. I pretty much had a smile on my face the entire time reading.. If you know what I mean..